RuPaul knows what’s up. Having compassion for others is [checks notes], yeah, pretty hard when we don’t have compassion for ourselves. As the other saying goes: You can’t pour from an empty cup. To take it back to basics for a sec, compassion is when we have an awareness of another’s suffering and an urge to alleviate it; it’s a desire to make things better. Turning the lens of compassion on ourselves means first: noticing when we’re beating ourselves up and spiraling into harshly critical self-talk; and second: treating ourselves with kindness and understanding instead.
It isn’t always easy feels virtually impossible to be as gentle with ourselves as we would a close friend, but it pays off. War veterans who are more self-compassionate have less PTSD, people with depression who learn to accept their faults have fewer symptoms, and self-compassionate teens are less stressed. Practicing kindness as an inside job also makes it easier to extend grace to others — it’s like strengthening a muscle.
If you’re curious where you land on the self-compassion scale, this test is useful for understanding which thought patterns and behaviors are and are not your friend. (Pro tip: You can get your results without entering any data.)
